Since that last post, my judgmental attitudes and self-hatred (i.e. my angry dogs) went into overdrive. I haven’t been able to write a single word, not even about the Netflix series I have, yes, continued to watch. I’ve spent the last two weeks in distraction and shut down mode.
I’m not sure why this happened. I’m not sure there even is a why. I think I was afraid. I got too close to something that scares me, and walking further into it was just not plausible. I had to run.
Even that result explains something about why and how the last ten years have gone the way they have.
But after today’s round of therapy, I do feel better. Nothing was really resolved, per se, but continuing the metaphor, the dog cage is at a more comfortable distance, and maybe I can find a keyboard voice again. I do have a lot of thoughts in my head that could use a little exercise.